That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
