I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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