He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
