where am i from again
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
