I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
