we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
