Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
