so explain again why im purple
no
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
