Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
