planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
