dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
