I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
