Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
