dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
