I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
