id be glad to
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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