So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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