If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
