these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
my being single is dangerous.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
