Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
