just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize