so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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