i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
