so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
