Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
