remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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