what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
