thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
