i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Randomize
