i permit you to call me
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
