College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
