it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
