I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
