Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
