that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You don't make any sense
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