piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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