don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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