Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I think your dad took our porno
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
