Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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