4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
