wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
