She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
