I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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