OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
