I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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