It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
