I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
