Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
