I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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