First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
