I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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